Kigulu – When They Tell You
Translated to English by Sofian Zerelli
Edited by Znous
Synopsis:
“Kigulu” is a users manual to help cope with a large part of one of the most contradictive, confusing and self-destructive societies: that of Znousland (aka Tunisia).
Translation:
Kigulu / when then say
Translation:
When they try to dissuade you from something, know that it’s exactly the right thing for you
When they encourage you to do something, don’t you ever fucking do it!
When they tell you to eat something, tell them you are fasting and stay hungry
When they praise you often, you shall conclude that you’re an asshole
When they tell that something is great, know that it’s mere pee
When they say that something is Haram and recite some verses, know that it’s all Halal
When they say come over this way, you should better go the other way
When they tell you this is the road to heaven, you shall know that it’s the road to the abyss
Just tell them
No no no No no no No no!
When they talk shit behind your back, know that you’re a decent person
When they guide you to drive straight, you should better take the first turn!
When they stell you money is dirt, know that they are the dirty ones
The state police is watching over the rich while your rights are being violated
When they say “come and help me, I found a jar burried in the field”(1)
They complain about “this fucked up” country while they have actually voted for Mr Nabil (2)
They say that this country is a shithole while they are the ones digging the hole!
And when they ask where did the government come from, tell them it came from: these people!!
(1) Sending a message to a friend pretending you’ve found an old jar full of gold burried in your uncle’s field is a common prank among a lot of Tunisians.
(2) Nabil Karoui, Tunisian TV Mogul, fraudster, convicted for money laundering and tax evasion, founder of the political party “Kalb Tounes” and ex-member of the ex-parliament and presidential candidate who made it to the final round.
